Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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