I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
