so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
