She's JV to your varsity
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize