i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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