good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
