Fine. I'll sleep in my office
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
