She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
