God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
