...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
