I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well I just put wine in my tea
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
