took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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