and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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