I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
