I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
