If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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