Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
