i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
