If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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