I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
