He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
