i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
