I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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