I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
