Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
