you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Blow job season was short but glorious.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
