JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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