Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
whose parrot is this?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
