That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
