We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
