Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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