Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.

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(217): View more from Illinois

The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America

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(828): View more from North Carolina

That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.

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(708): View more from Illinois

hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today

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(828): View more from North Carolina

YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

why does every cop we meet know your name?

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