Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
