I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
