Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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