We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Panties = found
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
