there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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