the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize