Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
