They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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