i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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