He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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