I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
