She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
