OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
