we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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