i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize