Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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