I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
