are you still at the devil's house?
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
