So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
