I'm pants shitting drunk right now
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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