so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
