Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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