my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
