How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize