thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
