i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
