He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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